I would have to agree on the unfortunate part, as we have never experienced a guest such as yourself. Your comments about the dirty house is just not true, we had a professional AIRBNB photographer at the house that was taking pictures that same day that can clarify that the house was indeed clean. You disrespected my staff that could just not make you happy, got you fresh water, (you checked in hours early so it had not arrived yet) rented you a bike that you left with out paying for. The "old food in the fridge" was eggs and bread for your breakfast in the morning, clearly you are a hard person to satisfy. My staff called me in tears. Not to mention you hit my dog with a stick. I wanted to surprise you with our brand new swimming pool and thought you would be happy as it was not posted yet on airbnb, instead you complained about our pool furniture. We have never in our years of hosting experienced such a ungrateful disrespectful guest.
Air bnb is not a 5 star hotel site, maybe thats what you were expecting. It's a site where people post their homes that they are proud of and share with others. Im sorry we disappointed you, how ever you should maybe consider your outrageous expectations of the places you find on Air bnb before booking it.