I'm Jake! I'm a grown-up. I don't like admitting it, but it's true. And hopefully that puts you slightly at ease.
I work at Salsa Labs, a really cool software company based out of DC, but I work in the Austin office. I lived in DC for 7 years (before I started at Salsa, actually), and only recently moved back to Austin.
I'm not the cleanest person in the world, but I do have utmost respect for another's property. I would be horrified if you had to deal with anything unsavory after my stay, so I will be sure to return it to a ready-state.
Ask me any questions!