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About Me
Claremont High
Levi Strauss / Green Brain Institute / New Leaf Venture Capital / Comedy Writer
English, Español
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Hey, I’m Gabriel!

Portland, Oregon, United States · Member since September 2011
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About Me:

I was never really fond of writing self descriptions but recently someone challenged to do so in a really interesting way and here's some of the stuff I was able to come up with:

When traveling I always rent the convertible
I like to randomly put coins into parking meters
I'm a voracious consumer of stories
I don't have any prison tattoos
I can see the magic eye pictures every time
I can navigate the streets of all the major cities of America
I used to teach part time
I smile a lot
I never run out of toilet paper
I love road trips
I have an awesome sense of direction
I'm a published author
I can be your bodyguard if you can be my long lost pal
I've never spent more than 24 hours in jail
I rarely consider most problems to be worth arguing about
I never miss the toilet when I pee
I have never caused a structure fire (open fields are however, an entirely different matter)
I'm not afraid of the dark
I've learned why you should never feed the animals at the zoo
I hiked across Death Valley
I can ride a bike with no handlebars
I've never killed a man just to watch him die
I have my own business
I'm not a complainer
I like to go to the library and hide money between the pages of childrens books
I don't snore
I can speak in public
I'm a Libra
I played the lead in my 4th grade class play "Tom Sawyer"
I keep a few tampons in my glove box for those unexpected emergencies
I love to tell stories
In the event of a zombie attack there is probably nobody on earth that could protect you better than me.
I never have gasoline fights
I know how to synch The Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz
I make a fierce margarita
I get along very well with the Irish
I just discovered that I can drink a pint of beer in 2.47 seconds.
I feel that in order to live a truly happy live one must give to others more than one receives in return.

I love to travel and I do hope you'll host me when I come to your town!