I have been renting out Airbnb for 3 years and never got such a strange review.
If you read something more than the mere title about the house it is clearly stated that the two basement rooms have to be rented separately. However this is the only part of your review that can be understood and thus I have changed the title (max 50 letter) to “An old renewed charming house, 3 (or 5) bedrooms”, so more people that only read the title will not misunderstand.
The basement where the shower is located is certainly connected to the upper floor by a hatch and a stair in the corner of the hallway. Not to notice the hatch on the wooden floor is very strange and even unbelievable. If you would have called me by the phone, I could have told you or let you know where an extra key of the basement entrance door is located at the upper floor, if all of you 5 would not have liked to use the relatively small hatch and rather steep 110 years old staircase.
“This basically ruined our entire trip to Iceland“ (Having to go out and around the house for shower, because you did not notice the hatch and stair). This is really a laughable statement, if this is not simply a misunderstood joke.
„I would warn anybody who are thinking about staying here to think twice, it will more than likely ruin your trip as well“
Is this not far to strong statement for not noticing the hatch in the middle of the floor and not calling for information ?
Couples never stay at the upper floor as you wrongly suggest, only downstairs. Upstairs we always have 4 or 5 people and have always got a very positive review. You are a complete and very surprising exception.
“The kitchen had food crumbs every where. We spent the first 20 minutes cleaning the entire kitchen”
We, the family had been staying in the house for 2 weeks and left the same day (at 15:00) as you came one ot two hours later. We did a thoroughly cleaning of all the house before we left, as we know that the cleaning staff that usually cleans after the guests does not always (and is not expected to) do thoroughly cleaning every time. We do that once every month or so when we are in the house. In your case, we therefore know for sure that your statement can not be correct. Sorry you do not seem to have been in a balanced mood when you did write this review. You are unlucky that we ourselves did the cleaning thoroughly and we can therefore not blame the cleaning staff about your very serious allegations.
So, to sum up, you did not read the detailed description of the room numbers. You did not see the hatch in the floor, did not call me for the information, and wrongly blame us for not returning clean kitchen (that we happen to know that is not true).
This review of you is really a new life experience for us. Wat made you write such a nonsense is a real mystery for me. I hope that this will not make harm to the good reputation of our guesthouse, that almost gets 100% positive review. But also for your shake, I would kindly ask you to remove this review or at least admit that is not correct, regarding the kitchen. The other stuff, most proposed guests will hopefully laugh at your shower problems, that ruined your complete trip to Iceland !!!.