About This Listing
Accommodations: House, 5 Bedrooms + Loft, 5 Baths (Sleeps Up To 22)
Located at the south end of Playa Guiones in Nosara in a new gated community/development called the Guiones Beach Club, the Rancho Paloma Azul home is perched on top of a small knoll that is 1110 square meters (approximately 1/3 acre) in size. It has views of the Pacific Ocean, surrounding hills and rain forest and is approximately 300 yards from the beach (about a four minute walk at most).
This home can accommodate as few as four guests or as many as 22 and includes all of the following:
A 18' x 24' indigenous open-air "palapa" style wood patio structure that is the social hub of the home. It includes an open kitchen, bar counter top & stools and large communal dining area along with open-air hammocks and lounge day beds and views to the beach. This building is immediately adjacent to the private swimming pool.
THE CABANA SUITES AND THE BUNK HOUSE:
Located on the 1st floor level are four (4) attached Cabana Suites, all of similar construction, each with its own 4-post queen size bed, private bathroom and porches with rocking chairs. Great for couples or for individual usage.
The building is a partial two-story structure with an upstairs master suite, called The Bunk House, equipped with a large bathroom. With three (3) full beds and two (2) twin beds, The Bunk House can sleep up to a total eight people. Great for kids, teens and/or couple and individual usage.
Two surfboard racks for storage of your surf gear. Three outdoor showers, one by the pool for rinsing sandy feet and two others by the Cabana suites and surfboard rack, respectively. All rooms are equipped with locked mini-bodegas and digital safes to safeguard your personal belongings.
THE SWIMMING POOL:
The pool is approximately 12’ x 22’ and fully tiled with shallow and deep areas.
ADDITIONAL SLEEPING AREAS:
There are additional outdoor, covered sleeping areas in the loft of the Rancho equipped with two (2) full beds and two (2) twin beds with mosquito netting and ceiling fans.
A friendly, full time on-site property maintenance manager lives on the property and is available to assist guests during their stay. He handles all pool and gardening duties as well.
Daily maid and cleaning service is included in the rental of this property.
Daily assistance with cooking and/or child-care is available upon request.
Our caretaker also moonlights as a trained masseuse! Great hourly rates too.
ABOUT GUIONES BEACH CLUB: We have yet to locate the GBC clubhouse or any dues-paying members for that matter, but it is a private gated community with 24/7 guard house and security patrol, all underground utilities (unique in Nosara) and unbeatable proximity to Playa Guiones beach.
Rancho Paloma Azul
Rules de la Casa
1. Easy-in, Easy-out. Check-In is 3pm & Check-Out is 10am.
2. Al Gore once slept here. Help us help you save the planet. Please only operate the air-conditioning and ceiling fans while you are actually in the room to appreciate it. We try very hard to maintain energy conservation in Costa Rica and do our small part to be green so we can sleep better at night. The privilege of air-conditioned rooms definitely helps.
3. The Rancho is an Official No Wet Zone or stated differently, the Rancho is an Official Dry Zone. No games of Slip ‘n Slide® are ever permitted in the Rancho. Please keep your dripping wet friends and family out of the main Rancho and off of the Rancho furniture. It’s slippery, messy and can get stinky pretty quickly. Same goes for the tile floors by the bedroom quarters as they can be slippery when wet as well. Be smart – be safe.
4. We do not love the sound of breaking glass. Absolutely no glass is allowed in or around the pool including Imperial, Pilsen and/or Bavaria beer bottles. One broken glass in the swimming pool and it has to be drained and re-filled. Always use the plastic cups we have provided in the kitchen for your frosty poolside beverages.
5. The Baby Ruth® Rule. Children that have not been potty trained must wear swim diapers at all times. Adults that are no longer potty trained must wear Depends ® at all times. Our main goal: no floaters. Also we use a special non-toxic chemical so when you pee in the pool, your urine turns bright purple and everyone laughs at your expense.
6. No jumping from the loft of Rancho into the pool. It’s Xtreme dumb. You’ll die or severely maim yourself and you might be nominated for the annual Darwin Awards in the “Stupidity In A Foreign Country” category.
7. We love the beach too but kindly request that you please do your best to keep the sand there for the next tourist. Please rinse off any sand in the outdoor shower before entering the pool. Ditto for when you re-enter your room.
8. The Princess & the Pea Rule. Bed linens will be changed weekly unless requested more frequently by people who are probably OCD or those who forget to rinse sand from their feet before crawling into bed per Rule #7 above. Towels will be changed every other day. Except during rainy season, water is a precious commodity in these parts and really expensive too. Did you know that by only washing your sheets once a week that saves enough water for the average Tico to cook 10 pots of gallo pinto?
9. “Mi Casa Es Su Casa” so please don’t burn it down. Do not leave candles lit in unoccupied rooms. Do not smoke in the suites. Do not smoke near the Rancho. DO NOT SMOKE. It’s really bad for your health and turns your teeth yellow.
10. Música para mis oídos. The Rancho stereo is set-up for MP3 player plug-ins. Please have our property manager Juan Carlos show you how to operate it before initial use and always lock-up when leaving the house.
11. We just love pets…as long as they are ours. Yours should stay at home. No other pets are allowed, including, but not limited, to ocelots, Toucans, iguanas, howler monkeys and scorpions.
12. “Does your dog bite?” Grrrrrrr. “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!” “That’s not my dog”. Our dogs are very friendly but please do not pet the pooches until you have been properly introduced to them by our property manager Juan Carlos. Their full-time job is to (1) guard the house from local scumbags who’d love to steal your camera, iPods and moola and (2) keep the pizotes – the Latin American rodent 2nd cousin of a raccoon - from invading the kitchen and eating all of your ceviche, arroz con pollo and empanadas.
13. Just beachy. Please do not take bath towels to the beach unless you plan to take a bath there. And if you take beach towels, please maintain them at all times as petty theft is a common occurrence on the beach. When you go surfing, take El Cheap-O flip flops & bury them in the sand. Yes, they will take your $2 flip-flops as a matter of sport.
14. Pillow, pillows, pillows! Our beds and lounges are really attached to their pillows. Please do not remove any pillows from the premises, including the living room throw pillows and lounge chair pillows. Oh, and no pillow fights.
15. Only fill to this line. Do not overfill, overload and overuse the washing machine as it will break and you’ll be forced to take your garments to the local Laundromat which in not at all fun based on our prior experience.
16. Better than rubbing two sticks together on a windy day. A small propane gas BBQ grill is provided for your outdoor cooking pleasure. Please ask our friendly property manager Juan Carlos set it up for you prior to use. Never BBQ in or near the Rancho – the roof is made of dried palms.
17. Lose ‘Em and Pay Dearly. Three keys are provided to you for your room: one for the front door, one for the front door dead bolt and another for the mini-bodega and safe. Loss of keys is a punishable offense of $200 per room as we will need to replace the locks for all three.
18. Your Valuables Are Safe With Me. The Bunk Room safe requires a key AND a code. This key cannot be duplicated. Therefore the loss of this key will require the safe to be replaced in addition to the door key costs. At minimum, this charge will be $350.
19. Trash Is As Trash Does. Please use plastic trash bags and tie them securely. Trash should be deposited in to the concrete bin outside of the front gate. Trash is collected twice weekly.
20. Have a blast! Have fun & always practice safe vacationing so you don’t bring something home you didn’t intend. When you return next year, this place should be better than the last.
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