I will be very honest : after hearing such a feedback from you , I would absolutely consider not to accept guests with no reviews any longer. As I try to be positive and left you a good review despite your mention of disappointment in one message you sent me during check in. The fact is I do not claim every property is suitable for everyone , as per bellow. To be very honest I am also surprised why you didn’t call Airbnb to tell them the place didn’t suite your needs. It is possible that this apartment is more suitable for younger people or families..
Coming as a tourist, I am assuming you don’t live in a big city . You check into an apartment in central location in one of the busiest cities in the world naturally implies that it won’t be completely quiet. Relative to other parts of central London , this area is quiet at night.
I stay in this apartment myself and there is no noise from any car wash , there is a parking garage at the corner that may have car wash downstairs in the underground car park but no noise from there at all - especially during the night. This apartment block is in the middle of Chelsea and considered as a location the most prime in London as luxury residential area by central London.
Curtains were not falling off, I actually changed them a couple of months ago, it is very not accurate to falsely claim such things, I checked the curtains and one peg was missed in the living room.
It says on the profile the one room has a sofa bed and the pictures shows accurately the room and bed, this is not as comfortable as a normal bed but comfortable enough for many people (including myself and my business partner)
Bathroom might be unsafe for your needs, if you need the apartment to accommodate elderly people as it has no handle, however it is the same as most bathrooms.
The bathroom is not dirty sometimes the water in London might have limestone that could affect the tiles to look not as shiny as they could, toilet brush is meant to clean the toilet and I do appologise if you found it to have the dirt that it is used for cleaning.
The apartment is not marketed as a 5* , it is a compact and efficient accomodation in a good location that according to prices in the area can be a good sulotion to many happy guests.
I wish you luck in finding better Airbnb. Stays but I do recommend that you stay at 5* hotels next time instead of compromising on your expectations and thereafter complaining!