Blissful Katoomba Retreat

House rules - your booking depends on the acceptance of these rules.

The house rules are the result of lots of different experiences with guests – from the majority of guests who were who were absolute angels and those who even helped with the painting and gardening or took Oi for a run with them, to those who didn't turn the cooker off properly and flooded the place with gas, to those who stuffed the plumbing, to those who locked the dogs in the kitchen and deliberately scared Madison, let her escape out onto the road and those who otherwise behaved badly.

I don't believe in leaving negative reviews or feedback for people as it's just mean and we all live different lives with different standards. We also all have differing degrees of focus or forgetfulness so these rules are intended as the framework for a positive experience for us both. It's all in black and white. I ask that you read these boring bits thoroughly so we don't have to talk about the rules.

If you think this place is not for you, please just keep scrolling through the listings. If you break these rules and this has serious consequences or we feel upset, scared or threatened as a result of your breaking these rules, your stay will be politely terminated, your money not refunded and, in the case of damage, your security deposit kept.

I
My dogs

Two dogs live on this property, large lurchers. They are both safe and friendly and unless you specifically don't want them to come in, they are allowed in the house. Maddy is a very frightened dog having been extremely badly abused in her former home. She may not want to make friends with you. Please don't force her. She will bark at you, but she won't bite. Oi likes everyone – like me!

PLEASE KEEP THE GATES CLOSED AT ALL TIMES TO PROTECT OI AND MADISON! THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU UNLOAD YOUR CAR, BRING YOUR BAGS TO THE ROOM AND LEAVE THE GATES WIDE OPEN BETWEEN TRIPS. IT MEANS CLOSE THE GATES.

In general

PLEASE ADVISE ME OF YOUR ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL.

Not to the minute, just generally early/late morning, afternoon, evening. I will happily pick you up from the station if you need me to.

THE HOUSE IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

THIS IS A STRICTLY NO SMOKING PROPERTY. NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE, GROUNDS OR VERANDAS.

ABSOLUTELY NO USE OF DRUGS AND IF YOU ARE DETOXING THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU. THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.

IF YOU ARE A COUPLE WORKING OUT A TROUBLED RELATIONSHIP, THIS IS ALSO NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU. I CANNOT ABIDE FIGHTING.

Your bedroom: NO EATING IN YOUR ROOM

NO WET TOWELS ON THE BED

NO CANDLES EXCEPT THE ONES IN YOUR BATHROOM

Your bathroom: NOTHING IN THE TOILET OTHER THAN TOILET PAPER. THIS MEANS NO PADS OR TAMPONS, NO COTTON WOOL, NO MAKE UP PADS, NO COTTON BUDS, NO CONDOMS. Please WRAP and use the bin. AAAAGHHHHH!!!!!

If you have a really strong shower, this will flood the central heating vent in the bathroom. A good shower can be had by keeping a small footprint.

The kitchen: YOU ARE WELCOME TO USE ONLY THE FRIDGE, THE MICROWAVE AND THE COFFEE MACHINE.

Unfortunately it has not worked out having guests use the kitchen. You are welcome to use it for making snacks and sandwiches, tea and coffee but not for cooking.

This is an energy efficient house. PLEASE turn off the air conditioning and heating at bedtime and when you leave the house, as well as any lights when you go to bed. If you leave the central heating on overnight, we will all cook in our beds!

My check out times are completely flexible unless I have back-to-back bookings. If that is the case, I ask that you vacate at 9am.

There is wildlife on this property. In spring and summer you will see lovely ringtail possums with pouch young or back-riding joeys. Although it is tempting PLEASE DO NOT FEED THESE ANIMALS. They need to survive in the wild and IF GIVEN BREAD THEY WILL DIE. Brushtail possums will bite and scratch if interfered with. We have both black and white cockatoos and at times the white cockies screech loudly. There is nothing I can do to turn the volume down! Bird species in the garden vary at different times of the year – you may see butcher birds, bower birds, kookaburras, magpies, currawongs, crimson rozellas, king parrots, white cheeked honeyeaters and occasionally pink galahs. The pond sometimes buzzes with blue-winged dragonflies. At certain times of the year you can also see microbats at twilight – a moth-sized creature hunting on the wing. If you wish to see wild kangaroos and swamp wallabies, please ask and I will take you to a secret place!

Come and go as you please, stay and chat or keep to yourself, but COMPLETE UNFRIENDLINESS ISN'T TOLERATED HERE.

I don't like racism or hearing people demeaned or discrimiated against
so if you hold negative views about other people or races, please keep them to yourself.

Keys

If you leave with the keys or lose them, you forfeit your key deposit.

Tours

Private tours are $40 per person plus petrol, deposit required when booking. (The horrible, crowded tourist bus is $47 and you don't see the real Blue Mountains!) Check my guidebook for places off the beaten track.

Breakfast and dinner

Please ask for a menu if you wish to stay in for dinner, but just give me a little bit of notice so I can shop for ingredients! Breakfast is $14 - I can make you a lovely treat but there are also plenty of great cafes in Katoomba Street or Leura.

BUSHWALKING

I do not like to lose my guests so please register your walk with the police or with the National Parks and Wildlife Service or let me know where you are going and what time you will be back.

Know EXACTLY where you are going and how long it will take to get there and back. Do not deviate without letting someone know you have changed your route.

Do not go off established tracks. This is very important as there are sudden and precipitous drops for the unwary bushwalker.

Take enough water for the walk and wear a hat, sunscreen and solid walking shoes. Ask me for sunscreen if you don't have it. Do not even think about going on one of our walking tracks in flip flops or sandals.

The police recommend you take a personal locator beacon so please, if you are coming up here with the idea of serious bushwalking in mind, invest in one of these.

Remember that you can be asked to pay for the cost of your rescue and this can be thousands of dollars.

On high fire risk days, for maintenance reasons or becaue of landslips, walking tracks in national parks may be closed, please respect this.

Take out whatever you carry in and don't leave any litter behind.

Snakes are unlikely to bite you. They are rarely aggressive unless interfered with. Just keep walking calmly and a snake will usually quickly move out of the way as it perceives you as a predator. People who get bitten have invariably tried to antagonise or kill a snake.

Snakes are an important part of the environment here and we have many beautiful ones.

Now enjoy yourself!!